What a recession teaches us.

Forgive me if this sounds too much like a long platitude, but I offer thoughts that have no easy answers, but I think I have an idea where the answers are. There are no freebies—the answers for me are not necessarily the exact answers for you.

A recession is a time of depression and suffering. It is like a warped or evil holiday season that goes on and on and on beyond January 1 where the music does not stop, the decorations are still up and the holiday food has gone rancid. Even if someone is doing just fine economically and is not directly affected by the economic downturn, there is the tendency to be depressed in some form because of the nature of empathy and the pervasive nature of a recession.

Empathy is that ability to feel what other people are feeling. It is somewhat of a spiritual concept because it is a connection that we make with people. We feel the pain in a recession as it is reported on the TV, in the newspapers and magazines, church sermons, and the tales of others.

There is almost an addiction or compulsion or obsession to talk about the recession on TV. (Pain is one of the underlying factors of addiction and compulsion.) It is almost like the air around us. It is like a 90-degree day with 60 percent humidity that lasts for months where we are uncomfortable and cannot get relief.

Although things may actually be going better for some of us, we feel the pain because the recession is spoken of everywhere all the time. It monopolizes our senses and feelings and we are overwhelmed. A recession can have the same effect of “job burnout” on people where we are tired all the time, we do not perform well, and we need a break.

We do not want pain. Pain is a sensation that tells you that something is wrong. We as human beings want to avoid pain. Me included. The irony is that we cannot avoid it during a recession. We have to feel it as part of this existence called life and it teaches us intangibles that we can listen to or repeat the pain all over again because we did not get the lessons the first time.

The recession of 1991-1992 was a time of pain that taught me a lot. I was 26. I had a masters degree and I was not finding a job in my chosen field. I was driving a school bus and I was trying to sell cellular/wireless phones when they were still a high-ticket item and the airtime minutes were outrageously expensive. Few people wanted wireless phones during that time because they were a luxury. I learned about what a shyster the guy I was working for was—what was I thinking?

I was living essentially hand to mouth and month to month at that time. I found that I was not going to get a job in the area of my masters. I was not going to get a job in the field of my undergraduate degree either. I found myself feeling pretty stupid for my education choices as they were dead-ends at the time.

I had many thoughts and feelings. I was frustrated. I was ashamed. I was in a wilderness. I was in a desert of paradox: I was not where I wanted to be but I could not really tell where I wanted to be.

The first lesson that we learn from the pain of the recession is we learn where it is that we do not want to be. We learn the consequences of choices from frustration and shame. Two questions we do fear are: What do you do for a living? Tell me about yourself? Another question we don't want to have to answer is: Now why did your last job end?

We learn what it is that we value. I learned to value that I needed to find a profession that was practical and more recession-proof, while still finding a job that was significant and meaningful. Many of us will have to settle for not so glamourous jobs that are part of the regular grind and find our meaning and significance elsewhere outside of work.

The pain of a recession can also teach us simplicity. The United States is such a complicated culture where many luxuries have become essentials. While cable or satellite television is a nice convenience, they are necessities in the eyes of many. Eating out is as much a matter of convenience and prestige, but eating at home gets us by just fine—although my steak on my grill does not taste as good as the steak at the restaurant. We get back in touch with what it is that we need and do not need.

I think I learned simplicity. I had food and shelter. I had what I needed from day to day. Of course it would have been nice to have cable and the ability to go out, but my life did not end without those things. I learned how very little I really needed compared to what I thought I needed. I learned that in a sense we all live day by day even though we have huge plans for what the future should be like. It was a painful lesson.

The pain of a recession includes acquainting us with our vulnerability and learning to cope with it. There is power in having money in your pocket. You also may have had the confidence that if you have to incur debt with your credit card you can pay it off ( and won't default on your account because you can make the monthly minimum). With recessions, the money is not in our pocket and we think twice about the debt. I learned to be respectful of debt and to work to live more within my means.

We can become mindful that we too are vulnerable, and it can lead to dwelling on the worst possible things that can happen to us? Panic attacks are not uncommon as a body cannot only take so much anxiety. A panic attack is the fight or flight response jacked up a couple of notches where the anxiety comes out physically in an intense form that mimics a heart attack.

I think I came to be in touch with my vulnerability. I think that the people who deny that they are vulnerable are more likely to have panic attacks than those who accept that everyone is vulnerable in some way. I learned that other people were vulnerable too.

Pain and suffering also teaches character. My nice but sometimes misguided mother believed in “sanding” of people where the rough edges are taken off. A like analogy is “trial by fire.” We can be like gold purified by fire. The stuff that is not gold floats to the top. (Of course there are more profane things that are said to float to the top—but the effect is still the same—it is somewhat of a sifting process.)

I think I learned character. I had to be me. I had to be who I was. It really did not matter that I had a master's degree or that I had an internship where I did some really bad morning newscasts on morning TV as a college student. It was humbling because the things I had put stock in meant nothing—during the recession it was all about who I was in the moment in relationships. Who I was . . . was all I had.

There was an end to my recession. In 1992 I headed to another city with my family's help to begin another master's degree that has been my profession since. I learned that recessions do end.

I saw that the vast majority of people kept things together in a recession. While there is always the possibility that someone can wind up sleeping in their car because they are out in the street, it really is because their judgment is so extremely poor that they do so many stupid things. While jobs do get lost and mortgages get foreclosed on, cable and Internet gets turned off, people do figure out a way to keep roofs over their heads and food on the table. (The black and white thinking is what makes people think that all is going to be lost.) Keep your head on, and make careful, conservative choices and your odds begin to increase dramatically that you will be ok.

In a grand sense, there was meaning in my suffering--it had purpose and made me better. I was not looking for the lessons. They were all after-thoughts. They did not all strike me at one time nor did they strike me like lightning. The lessons were quiet that came in bits and pieces. I found myself praying many, many times a day for grace. Am I a better person because of my suffering? Yes I think so?

Does it matter to the people I know that I have had these lessons? They probably could care less because they are all busy with their own lives. However, it does matter to me because I live within my skin and know my own thoughts, and I am more at peace because of those lessons.

Some people will never learn these lessons. That is sadly also the pain of living this life, but again that is life.