I thought that it would behoove to write about basic anxiety. Besides sadness and depression, anxiety is another emotion connected with recessions. We need anxiety and I think that it is important to accept it.
Anxiety according to “Webster” refers to a negative apprehensiveness. In my opinion anxiety is something we share with animals.
Anxiety is an emotion that keeps us safe or motivates us to act for our safety from all perceived threats. Yes, we may run when we are scared and feel like a chicken, but it is better to be a live chicken than a dead duck.
Anxiety is not all negative. Excitement is a form of anxiety in positive situations—like during the big game or getting to meet a celebrity. However, anxiety can be downright vicious in the form of jealousy (anxiety mixed with anger).
Anxiety can be healthy. Guilt is a form of anxiety that we feel when we have done or said something wrong. The physical and emotional symptoms motivate us to make things right.
Anxiety uses adrenalin. It can keep us up at night. It keeps us pacing. It keeps our mind stirring. When we are anxious we cannot stop moving or sit still.
I think that anxiety has been a human characteristic from the beginning of time. While this is not intended to be a religious letter, Jesus Christ talked repeatedly about anxiety and how to have peace. For those who are not Christians, other faiths have something to say about anxiety—people have used their faith to cope with anxiety throughout history.
Anyway, throughout my life, there has always been something to be anxious about. For the first 25 years of my life, we were anxious about the “Cold War.” Up through 1973, there was the Vietnam War. Russia and the United States had more than enough nuclear weapons to wipe out each other. It was something of a relief to see communism in Europe end.
Since 2001 the United States and European counties have been anxious about militant Muslim extremists—especially Al Qaeda and its activities. (It is practically the crusades all over again).
Now, on top of “the war on terrorism” gasoline is now at more than four dollars a gallon where I live and that is causing inflation on top of recessionary conditions. Will we have money to pay our bills? Will we have jobs? Will we being paralyzed in our sprawled cities where there is no bus service to take us to our jobs in another part of the metropolitan area? Will gas go further up to $7.00 per gallon? The list of possible anxieties can go on and on and on.
Many people put on a facade or front that they are not scared, but people get scared with all these things. I think that it is natural that all of these things incite anxiety.
We compound our anxiety when we obsess on our anxieties (national, world, and personal). Obsessing is going to lead to the sleepless nights, stomach pains, headaches, chest pains, and panic attacks. (Although when people are having panic attacks there is more than one cause.)
The concept that I think is applicable in this case of recession is “circle of control.” You and I alone by our own solitary actions are NOT going to change the world or the recessionary conditions. We can only take care of ourselves. Hopefully in time with a large enough people taking care of themselves, the economic situation with right itself as it usually has.
Now to be real about anxiety . . . feeling it is terrible. You not only can have non-stop thoughts that you cannot seem to shake, but your muscles get tight, and you may not feel hungry. Or you may feel empty and eat to feel full and satisfied—thus the concepts of “comfort food” and “stress eating.” You may get a headache.
If the thoughts continue, you can begin to paint yourself into a corner and begin to believe that the worst is going to happen and that you are going to be a total failure. That is black and white thinking coming back into play. Black and white thinking about small things makes them seem like they are the only things in the world.
Alcohol consumption seems to go up in recessions (or so I have heard). This happens, while it is an easy go-to-coping tool, it is not a healthy way of dealing with anxiety. Alcohol and other substances merely are mood-altering substances whose effects wear off and do not make your problem go away. In fact, one using one or both may find themselves with another problem called addiction.
If you are having panic attacks and are having high levels of anxiety, this is where professional help is needed. Seeing your doctor (if you can get into a psychiatrist—that is preferred), going to a therapist, getting assessed at your local psychiatric hospital, going to a support group are all good interventions to help with anxiety. One other cheap and easy way is to browse the Internet for coping websites (My personal favorite is http://www.coping.org/ and no they are not paying for this recommendation--it is just that good of a website and it is free to access). In the short term, hot baths and lots of deep breathing are the cheap (and sometimes the most helpful) interventions that most people can do.
There is no easy way to close this entry. I think that the best thing to say is that anxiety is normal, and it is not the end of your world if you have anxiety over the world situation. Naming and accepting it are the first steps to coping (and going somewhere for some help is good too if you really feel that you are at the end of your rope). Most of our families have not held this belief or imparted it to us, and so it can appear rather unappealing.
I think accepting that you are anxious is one way to begin reducing it. Denial or trying to stuff it only makes it worse. Telling yourself that it is stupid for you to be anxious is only going to make you more anxious as it puts pressure on you to be more than human. (You can only be human.)
Accepting anxiety usually leads to one to give oneself permission to start doing something to reduce it.
It is NOT stupid to be anxious over world events. It is what we do as humans.
Monday, June 30, 2008
Thursday, June 26, 2008
What a recession teaches us.
Forgive me if this sounds too much like a long platitude, but I offer thoughts that have no easy answers, but I think I have an idea where the answers are. There are no freebies—the answers for me are not necessarily the exact answers for you.
A recession is a time of depression and suffering. It is like a warped or evil holiday season that goes on and on and on beyond January 1 where the music does not stop, the decorations are still up and the holiday food has gone rancid. Even if someone is doing just fine economically and is not directly affected by the economic downturn, there is the tendency to be depressed in some form because of the nature of empathy and the pervasive nature of a recession.
Empathy is that ability to feel what other people are feeling. It is somewhat of a spiritual concept because it is a connection that we make with people. We feel the pain in a recession as it is reported on the TV, in the newspapers and magazines, church sermons, and the tales of others.
There is almost an addiction or compulsion or obsession to talk about the recession on TV. (Pain is one of the underlying factors of addiction and compulsion.) It is almost like the air around us. It is like a 90-degree day with 60 percent humidity that lasts for months where we are uncomfortable and cannot get relief.
Although things may actually be going better for some of us, we feel the pain because the recession is spoken of everywhere all the time. It monopolizes our senses and feelings and we are overwhelmed. A recession can have the same effect of “job burnout” on people where we are tired all the time, we do not perform well, and we need a break.
We do not want pain. Pain is a sensation that tells you that something is wrong. We as human beings want to avoid pain. Me included. The irony is that we cannot avoid it during a recession. We have to feel it as part of this existence called life and it teaches us intangibles that we can listen to or repeat the pain all over again because we did not get the lessons the first time.
The recession of 1991-1992 was a time of pain that taught me a lot. I was 26. I had a masters degree and I was not finding a job in my chosen field. I was driving a school bus and I was trying to sell cellular/wireless phones when they were still a high-ticket item and the airtime minutes were outrageously expensive. Few people wanted wireless phones during that time because they were a luxury. I learned about what a shyster the guy I was working for was—what was I thinking?
I was living essentially hand to mouth and month to month at that time. I found that I was not going to get a job in the area of my masters. I was not going to get a job in the field of my undergraduate degree either. I found myself feeling pretty stupid for my education choices as they were dead-ends at the time.
I had many thoughts and feelings. I was frustrated. I was ashamed. I was in a wilderness. I was in a desert of paradox: I was not where I wanted to be but I could not really tell where I wanted to be.
The first lesson that we learn from the pain of the recession is we learn where it is that we do not want to be. We learn the consequences of choices from frustration and shame. Two questions we do fear are: What do you do for a living? Tell me about yourself? Another question we don't want to have to answer is: Now why did your last job end?
We learn what it is that we value. I learned to value that I needed to find a profession that was practical and more recession-proof, while still finding a job that was significant and meaningful. Many of us will have to settle for not so glamourous jobs that are part of the regular grind and find our meaning and significance elsewhere outside of work.
The pain of a recession can also teach us simplicity. The United States is such a complicated culture where many luxuries have become essentials. While cable or satellite television is a nice convenience, they are necessities in the eyes of many. Eating out is as much a matter of convenience and prestige, but eating at home gets us by just fine—although my steak on my grill does not taste as good as the steak at the restaurant. We get back in touch with what it is that we need and do not need.
I think I learned simplicity. I had food and shelter. I had what I needed from day to day. Of course it would have been nice to have cable and the ability to go out, but my life did not end without those things. I learned how very little I really needed compared to what I thought I needed. I learned that in a sense we all live day by day even though we have huge plans for what the future should be like. It was a painful lesson.
The pain of a recession includes acquainting us with our vulnerability and learning to cope with it. There is power in having money in your pocket. You also may have had the confidence that if you have to incur debt with your credit card you can pay it off ( and won't default on your account because you can make the monthly minimum). With recessions, the money is not in our pocket and we think twice about the debt. I learned to be respectful of debt and to work to live more within my means.
We can become mindful that we too are vulnerable, and it can lead to dwelling on the worst possible things that can happen to us? Panic attacks are not uncommon as a body cannot only take so much anxiety. A panic attack is the fight or flight response jacked up a couple of notches where the anxiety comes out physically in an intense form that mimics a heart attack.
I think I came to be in touch with my vulnerability. I think that the people who deny that they are vulnerable are more likely to have panic attacks than those who accept that everyone is vulnerable in some way. I learned that other people were vulnerable too.
Pain and suffering also teaches character. My nice but sometimes misguided mother believed in “sanding” of people where the rough edges are taken off. A like analogy is “trial by fire.” We can be like gold purified by fire. The stuff that is not gold floats to the top. (Of course there are more profane things that are said to float to the top—but the effect is still the same—it is somewhat of a sifting process.)
I think I learned character. I had to be me. I had to be who I was. It really did not matter that I had a master's degree or that I had an internship where I did some really bad morning newscasts on morning TV as a college student. It was humbling because the things I had put stock in meant nothing—during the recession it was all about who I was in the moment in relationships. Who I was . . . was all I had.
There was an end to my recession. In 1992 I headed to another city with my family's help to begin another master's degree that has been my profession since. I learned that recessions do end.
I saw that the vast majority of people kept things together in a recession. While there is always the possibility that someone can wind up sleeping in their car because they are out in the street, it really is because their judgment is so extremely poor that they do so many stupid things. While jobs do get lost and mortgages get foreclosed on, cable and Internet gets turned off, people do figure out a way to keep roofs over their heads and food on the table. (The black and white thinking is what makes people think that all is going to be lost.) Keep your head on, and make careful, conservative choices and your odds begin to increase dramatically that you will be ok.
In a grand sense, there was meaning in my suffering--it had purpose and made me better. I was not looking for the lessons. They were all after-thoughts. They did not all strike me at one time nor did they strike me like lightning. The lessons were quiet that came in bits and pieces. I found myself praying many, many times a day for grace. Am I a better person because of my suffering? Yes I think so?
Does it matter to the people I know that I have had these lessons? They probably could care less because they are all busy with their own lives. However, it does matter to me because I live within my skin and know my own thoughts, and I am more at peace because of those lessons.
Some people will never learn these lessons. That is sadly also the pain of living this life, but again that is life.
A recession is a time of depression and suffering. It is like a warped or evil holiday season that goes on and on and on beyond January 1 where the music does not stop, the decorations are still up and the holiday food has gone rancid. Even if someone is doing just fine economically and is not directly affected by the economic downturn, there is the tendency to be depressed in some form because of the nature of empathy and the pervasive nature of a recession.
Empathy is that ability to feel what other people are feeling. It is somewhat of a spiritual concept because it is a connection that we make with people. We feel the pain in a recession as it is reported on the TV, in the newspapers and magazines, church sermons, and the tales of others.
There is almost an addiction or compulsion or obsession to talk about the recession on TV. (Pain is one of the underlying factors of addiction and compulsion.) It is almost like the air around us. It is like a 90-degree day with 60 percent humidity that lasts for months where we are uncomfortable and cannot get relief.
Although things may actually be going better for some of us, we feel the pain because the recession is spoken of everywhere all the time. It monopolizes our senses and feelings and we are overwhelmed. A recession can have the same effect of “job burnout” on people where we are tired all the time, we do not perform well, and we need a break.
We do not want pain. Pain is a sensation that tells you that something is wrong. We as human beings want to avoid pain. Me included. The irony is that we cannot avoid it during a recession. We have to feel it as part of this existence called life and it teaches us intangibles that we can listen to or repeat the pain all over again because we did not get the lessons the first time.
The recession of 1991-1992 was a time of pain that taught me a lot. I was 26. I had a masters degree and I was not finding a job in my chosen field. I was driving a school bus and I was trying to sell cellular/wireless phones when they were still a high-ticket item and the airtime minutes were outrageously expensive. Few people wanted wireless phones during that time because they were a luxury. I learned about what a shyster the guy I was working for was—what was I thinking?
I was living essentially hand to mouth and month to month at that time. I found that I was not going to get a job in the area of my masters. I was not going to get a job in the field of my undergraduate degree either. I found myself feeling pretty stupid for my education choices as they were dead-ends at the time.
I had many thoughts and feelings. I was frustrated. I was ashamed. I was in a wilderness. I was in a desert of paradox: I was not where I wanted to be but I could not really tell where I wanted to be.
The first lesson that we learn from the pain of the recession is we learn where it is that we do not want to be. We learn the consequences of choices from frustration and shame. Two questions we do fear are: What do you do for a living? Tell me about yourself? Another question we don't want to have to answer is: Now why did your last job end?
We learn what it is that we value. I learned to value that I needed to find a profession that was practical and more recession-proof, while still finding a job that was significant and meaningful. Many of us will have to settle for not so glamourous jobs that are part of the regular grind and find our meaning and significance elsewhere outside of work.
The pain of a recession can also teach us simplicity. The United States is such a complicated culture where many luxuries have become essentials. While cable or satellite television is a nice convenience, they are necessities in the eyes of many. Eating out is as much a matter of convenience and prestige, but eating at home gets us by just fine—although my steak on my grill does not taste as good as the steak at the restaurant. We get back in touch with what it is that we need and do not need.
I think I learned simplicity. I had food and shelter. I had what I needed from day to day. Of course it would have been nice to have cable and the ability to go out, but my life did not end without those things. I learned how very little I really needed compared to what I thought I needed. I learned that in a sense we all live day by day even though we have huge plans for what the future should be like. It was a painful lesson.
The pain of a recession includes acquainting us with our vulnerability and learning to cope with it. There is power in having money in your pocket. You also may have had the confidence that if you have to incur debt with your credit card you can pay it off ( and won't default on your account because you can make the monthly minimum). With recessions, the money is not in our pocket and we think twice about the debt. I learned to be respectful of debt and to work to live more within my means.
We can become mindful that we too are vulnerable, and it can lead to dwelling on the worst possible things that can happen to us? Panic attacks are not uncommon as a body cannot only take so much anxiety. A panic attack is the fight or flight response jacked up a couple of notches where the anxiety comes out physically in an intense form that mimics a heart attack.
I think I came to be in touch with my vulnerability. I think that the people who deny that they are vulnerable are more likely to have panic attacks than those who accept that everyone is vulnerable in some way. I learned that other people were vulnerable too.
Pain and suffering also teaches character. My nice but sometimes misguided mother believed in “sanding” of people where the rough edges are taken off. A like analogy is “trial by fire.” We can be like gold purified by fire. The stuff that is not gold floats to the top. (Of course there are more profane things that are said to float to the top—but the effect is still the same—it is somewhat of a sifting process.)
I think I learned character. I had to be me. I had to be who I was. It really did not matter that I had a master's degree or that I had an internship where I did some really bad morning newscasts on morning TV as a college student. It was humbling because the things I had put stock in meant nothing—during the recession it was all about who I was in the moment in relationships. Who I was . . . was all I had.
There was an end to my recession. In 1992 I headed to another city with my family's help to begin another master's degree that has been my profession since. I learned that recessions do end.
I saw that the vast majority of people kept things together in a recession. While there is always the possibility that someone can wind up sleeping in their car because they are out in the street, it really is because their judgment is so extremely poor that they do so many stupid things. While jobs do get lost and mortgages get foreclosed on, cable and Internet gets turned off, people do figure out a way to keep roofs over their heads and food on the table. (The black and white thinking is what makes people think that all is going to be lost.) Keep your head on, and make careful, conservative choices and your odds begin to increase dramatically that you will be ok.
In a grand sense, there was meaning in my suffering--it had purpose and made me better. I was not looking for the lessons. They were all after-thoughts. They did not all strike me at one time nor did they strike me like lightning. The lessons were quiet that came in bits and pieces. I found myself praying many, many times a day for grace. Am I a better person because of my suffering? Yes I think so?
Does it matter to the people I know that I have had these lessons? They probably could care less because they are all busy with their own lives. However, it does matter to me because I live within my skin and know my own thoughts, and I am more at peace because of those lessons.
Some people will never learn these lessons. That is sadly also the pain of living this life, but again that is life.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Waiting in the recession: the process of powerlessness
Waiting is something we do as people.
Webster essentially defined waiting to stand expectantly of something.
I decided that waiting is a period of time (whether defined or open-ended) where an expectation is unfilled, and you are powerless to fill the expectation in the here and now.
In its most basic sense waiting is painful. To wait means to suffer some sort of distress or discomfort while your need or expectation is unfulfilled. This is not necessarily delayed gratification—the things we wait for in a recession have little to do with pleasure, but with security needs and the need to feel secure.
Not all pain is equal. Waiting for a cup of tea in the microwave is not the same as waiting for the prospective employer to call with a job offer. The more something matters, the more pain.
Little kids in their impulsive natures have great difficulty waiting. Generally the average, mature adult can cope with waiting, especially if it is a simple matter. An adult in the western world generally has the expectation that it will take the microwave oven two minutes to boil the water. If you want to have the cup of tea, you will wait and you will be calm about it.
The development of coping through development of emotional maturing leads to tolerating waiting. A child's mind is not an adult's mind. Children do not handle waiting as well as adults do as a rule.
In the context of the recession, waiting concerns oppression. The oppression seems to add more complication to waiting. The rules change.
What especially makes waiting in a recession hard is the powerlessness. When there is not a recession, we have numerous choices because we have the power of money and can more easily make money.
The recession is like making a stop at a bad rural convenience store along the interstate because you have diarrhea. The place has putrid bathrooms and stale off-brand food and beverage items that are overpriced. If you complain about anything, the irritable owner-operator running the cash register will bluntly tell you to go someplace else. Pretty much people only stop there for the same reason and are stuck with the same few choices—but they make due because they have to.
There is no one oppressor that can be blamed in a recession. This is part of the powerlessness as you cannot identify the particular cause to do something. Furthermore, if you have lost your job and cannot get another job, you feel all the more oppression because you must conserve your resources as you are mindful that your unemployment insurance could run out before you find the next job.
The oppression cuts back on your ability to cope. It is an experience that gives you a taste of clinical depression, or it gives you a taste of what the emotional atmosphere is in the impoverished inner-city or ghetto areas that are also called “the hood.” Life is hard and you cannot stop but be mindful of that. You are surviving.
I think that there are two basic kinds of waiting in the recession. We tend to look expectantly for oppression to happen (more likely know as “the other shoe to drop”). Second, we also wait expectantly to be delivered from the oppression once it has happened. You may not even be sure what it is you are waiting for in the first place when you have a severe, unmet need that continues to increase in complexity?
In the waiting for the other shoe to drop, people tend to be anxious. They dwell on the fear of what if . . . what if . . . what if? They may dwell and are preoccupied on all the worst case scenarios or all of the possible negative scenarios their imagination will produce.
As a result their distress takes the form of being are edgy and guarded. (This is clearly a mode of survival.) They may drink more alcohol, smoke more cigarettes, engage in more stress eating.
They do not sleep at night. It is almost living in an 'already but not yet world,' where their emotions are with their thoughts in a future time and dimension despite causing bodily tension and stress in the present.
Once the shoe has dropped, waiting is a time of hoping for or expecting deliverance from the tyranny and oppression that a recession brings. There is the shock. There is the entertainment of regret: did I choose the right kind of career? I should have done this or that. There is depression where you feel stuck or helpless. Self-esteem is down the toilet. In essence, there is grief, but it is more than grief because it is more than your emotions.
I used to think that waiting was a process. However, a process also implies that you know what is supposed to happen? I do not think that anymore.
Appreciating the concept of waiting is more or less putting a name to the pain that we feel. The pain of the recession is more than just waiting because we hate that other people are having bad fortune, but the mind acts in ways that are that of waiting. This may be where we have to start.
What do we do? It is not easy. Essentially it is whatever we can in our own imperfect ways.
Webster essentially defined waiting to stand expectantly of something.
I decided that waiting is a period of time (whether defined or open-ended) where an expectation is unfilled, and you are powerless to fill the expectation in the here and now.
In its most basic sense waiting is painful. To wait means to suffer some sort of distress or discomfort while your need or expectation is unfulfilled. This is not necessarily delayed gratification—the things we wait for in a recession have little to do with pleasure, but with security needs and the need to feel secure.
Not all pain is equal. Waiting for a cup of tea in the microwave is not the same as waiting for the prospective employer to call with a job offer. The more something matters, the more pain.
Little kids in their impulsive natures have great difficulty waiting. Generally the average, mature adult can cope with waiting, especially if it is a simple matter. An adult in the western world generally has the expectation that it will take the microwave oven two minutes to boil the water. If you want to have the cup of tea, you will wait and you will be calm about it.
The development of coping through development of emotional maturing leads to tolerating waiting. A child's mind is not an adult's mind. Children do not handle waiting as well as adults do as a rule.
In the context of the recession, waiting concerns oppression. The oppression seems to add more complication to waiting. The rules change.
What especially makes waiting in a recession hard is the powerlessness. When there is not a recession, we have numerous choices because we have the power of money and can more easily make money.
The recession is like making a stop at a bad rural convenience store along the interstate because you have diarrhea. The place has putrid bathrooms and stale off-brand food and beverage items that are overpriced. If you complain about anything, the irritable owner-operator running the cash register will bluntly tell you to go someplace else. Pretty much people only stop there for the same reason and are stuck with the same few choices—but they make due because they have to.
There is no one oppressor that can be blamed in a recession. This is part of the powerlessness as you cannot identify the particular cause to do something. Furthermore, if you have lost your job and cannot get another job, you feel all the more oppression because you must conserve your resources as you are mindful that your unemployment insurance could run out before you find the next job.
The oppression cuts back on your ability to cope. It is an experience that gives you a taste of clinical depression, or it gives you a taste of what the emotional atmosphere is in the impoverished inner-city or ghetto areas that are also called “the hood.” Life is hard and you cannot stop but be mindful of that. You are surviving.
I think that there are two basic kinds of waiting in the recession. We tend to look expectantly for oppression to happen (more likely know as “the other shoe to drop”). Second, we also wait expectantly to be delivered from the oppression once it has happened. You may not even be sure what it is you are waiting for in the first place when you have a severe, unmet need that continues to increase in complexity?
In the waiting for the other shoe to drop, people tend to be anxious. They dwell on the fear of what if . . . what if . . . what if? They may dwell and are preoccupied on all the worst case scenarios or all of the possible negative scenarios their imagination will produce.
As a result their distress takes the form of being are edgy and guarded. (This is clearly a mode of survival.) They may drink more alcohol, smoke more cigarettes, engage in more stress eating.
They do not sleep at night. It is almost living in an 'already but not yet world,' where their emotions are with their thoughts in a future time and dimension despite causing bodily tension and stress in the present.
Once the shoe has dropped, waiting is a time of hoping for or expecting deliverance from the tyranny and oppression that a recession brings. There is the shock. There is the entertainment of regret: did I choose the right kind of career? I should have done this or that. There is depression where you feel stuck or helpless. Self-esteem is down the toilet. In essence, there is grief, but it is more than grief because it is more than your emotions.
I used to think that waiting was a process. However, a process also implies that you know what is supposed to happen? I do not think that anymore.
Appreciating the concept of waiting is more or less putting a name to the pain that we feel. The pain of the recession is more than just waiting because we hate that other people are having bad fortune, but the mind acts in ways that are that of waiting. This may be where we have to start.
What do we do? It is not easy. Essentially it is whatever we can in our own imperfect ways.
Monday, June 16, 2008
Getting a grip on the personal pain and powerlessness in a recession
Sometimes understanding the nature of the pain is a step towards coping with it.
There is no doubt about it . . . living in the time of recession sucks. I figure that I have lived through four of them, and I will probably live through another four of them in my life time. Four more opportunities to survive the pain.
No amount of cheap platitudes is going to take away the emotional pain of a recession. A recession is a time period where we survive in the very sense of the word.
A recession has the same emotional effect as a dysfunctional Christmas or living in a city on the Atlantic Coast waiting for a hurricane to see if the city will be destroyed. It is all you hear about. It is all that the media seems to talk about, and the music can reflect the time (the group Matchbox 20 has some empathetic and insightful material right now in 2008 and Don Henley's "End of the Innocence" album in 1991 was reflective of that recession). When there is a recession, it is all that people seem to be preparing for or reacting to.
It is just too easy to become overwhelmed or get into a feeling of crisis in a time of recession.
I think that this crisis or sense of being overwhelmed happens during recessions because people become fearful and introspective. They lock themselves up and hide in fear. The goods they buy or don’t buy are in keeping with the times. There is the rumination or dwelling on the regret of taking past risks with credit cards. There is the dwelling on the regret of not saving money of this rainy day. There is the dwelling on the fear of whether you will continue to have a job? Will you lose your house or be evicted from your apartment? Will you wind up out in the street as a homeless person with nothing at all? If you give the fear a chance, it will act like it is your whole world . . . but there is more.
Some of our acquaintances and friends or even family members get hit by the recession through lay offs, closings and foreclosures. Recessions are not just figments of our imagination—they are real!
With recessions we do naturally feel vulnerable. The trappings of our otherwise comfortable environments go away with store closings and factory closings. We feel as if a chunk has been taken from us when a part of our social fabric goes. With every new, negative, news story of economic recession it feels that the fabric tears more and more. When someone we know gets the axe or gets evicted or foreclosed on, the vulnerable feeling intensifies.
If we do lose the job or if we cannot get a good job it hits us where we live and we may feel weak, worthless, or impotent. A hallmark of the economy of the United States is the identification that occupation or vocation gives. Self-esteem demands a good answer to the question: “So, what do you do for a living?”
Furthermore, we feel vulnerable because we get in touch with the ramifications of the debt we have. We can “what if” ourselves to death on the different debts that can be incurred quickly with car repairs or replacement of large appliances or heating and air conditioning or roof repairs.
Also, we have less money in our pockets and purses. We are less able to do what we want to do or what we used to do. Buying power is appreciated the most when we do not have it.
If we really never have the money during good times, we lean on the buying power that credit deceptively seems to provide. In recessions we awaken the truth of our powerlessness.
We tend to feel shame because of our situation and we retreat to our caves. This act of retreat magnifies our feelings of fear and anxiety and vulnerability.
Aside from this feeling of vulnerability and mortal fear, there is the resentment towards the talking heads on TV. The economists and politicians tend to give pat, academic answers in the course of 15 seconds as to what they think has happened? What should happen? And how long it should take for the remedy to occur? The answer as to what happened changes depending on whom the talking head is?
The heck of it is—no explanation on TV or radio really does anything about the pain now? The talking head’s explanation is not going to solve the problem of coming up with the rent or mortgage, nor is it going to soothe the fear of whether or not one is going to get laid off from work.
There is no comfort in the talking head’s explanation. There is only the impression that they can give a cold, intellectual opinion because they are not affected by the recession.
The only ones who really get anything out of the anger is the political party not in power. They can blame the problems on the party in power and maybe they can channel the anger to win the election. Political anger is one healthy way of expressing rage.
One more part of the pain has to be discussed in this imperfect piece—the effect on families. Both nuclear and extended families are non-exempt from the effects.
Will extended family have to double up in single households when one nuclear unit gets evicted? Will older parents have to take in children and grandchildren—creating tense living situations? (The one big happy family may happen, but all things being equal—it suggests that togetherness is likely going to be short-lived before conflict and family drama occurs.)
Money is another family issue. Will there be the pain of being hit up for loans that you would rather make because you need that money for your retirement? Will there be the sacrifice of your own well-being for a family member’s stupidity because you get a royal guilt trip from a third family member who does it themselves and expects everyone else to be like them?
This is only a picture of the pain. There are so many nuances I do not think I can even begin to touch on all of them.
Do I have all the answers? No Each of us will have to make our decisions as to how we are going to cope with the problems and survive the situations that come our way.
There are a variety of choices that can be made to cope and take the edge off the pain. I will explore some of those choices in coming entries.
There is no doubt about it . . . living in the time of recession sucks. I figure that I have lived through four of them, and I will probably live through another four of them in my life time. Four more opportunities to survive the pain.
No amount of cheap platitudes is going to take away the emotional pain of a recession. A recession is a time period where we survive in the very sense of the word.
A recession has the same emotional effect as a dysfunctional Christmas or living in a city on the Atlantic Coast waiting for a hurricane to see if the city will be destroyed. It is all you hear about. It is all that the media seems to talk about, and the music can reflect the time (the group Matchbox 20 has some empathetic and insightful material right now in 2008 and Don Henley's "End of the Innocence" album in 1991 was reflective of that recession). When there is a recession, it is all that people seem to be preparing for or reacting to.
It is just too easy to become overwhelmed or get into a feeling of crisis in a time of recession.
I think that this crisis or sense of being overwhelmed happens during recessions because people become fearful and introspective. They lock themselves up and hide in fear. The goods they buy or don’t buy are in keeping with the times. There is the rumination or dwelling on the regret of taking past risks with credit cards. There is the dwelling on the regret of not saving money of this rainy day. There is the dwelling on the fear of whether you will continue to have a job? Will you lose your house or be evicted from your apartment? Will you wind up out in the street as a homeless person with nothing at all? If you give the fear a chance, it will act like it is your whole world . . . but there is more.
Some of our acquaintances and friends or even family members get hit by the recession through lay offs, closings and foreclosures. Recessions are not just figments of our imagination—they are real!
With recessions we do naturally feel vulnerable. The trappings of our otherwise comfortable environments go away with store closings and factory closings. We feel as if a chunk has been taken from us when a part of our social fabric goes. With every new, negative, news story of economic recession it feels that the fabric tears more and more. When someone we know gets the axe or gets evicted or foreclosed on, the vulnerable feeling intensifies.
If we do lose the job or if we cannot get a good job it hits us where we live and we may feel weak, worthless, or impotent. A hallmark of the economy of the United States is the identification that occupation or vocation gives. Self-esteem demands a good answer to the question: “So, what do you do for a living?”
Furthermore, we feel vulnerable because we get in touch with the ramifications of the debt we have. We can “what if” ourselves to death on the different debts that can be incurred quickly with car repairs or replacement of large appliances or heating and air conditioning or roof repairs.
Also, we have less money in our pockets and purses. We are less able to do what we want to do or what we used to do. Buying power is appreciated the most when we do not have it.
If we really never have the money during good times, we lean on the buying power that credit deceptively seems to provide. In recessions we awaken the truth of our powerlessness.
We tend to feel shame because of our situation and we retreat to our caves. This act of retreat magnifies our feelings of fear and anxiety and vulnerability.
Aside from this feeling of vulnerability and mortal fear, there is the resentment towards the talking heads on TV. The economists and politicians tend to give pat, academic answers in the course of 15 seconds as to what they think has happened? What should happen? And how long it should take for the remedy to occur? The answer as to what happened changes depending on whom the talking head is?
The heck of it is—no explanation on TV or radio really does anything about the pain now? The talking head’s explanation is not going to solve the problem of coming up with the rent or mortgage, nor is it going to soothe the fear of whether or not one is going to get laid off from work.
There is no comfort in the talking head’s explanation. There is only the impression that they can give a cold, intellectual opinion because they are not affected by the recession.
The only ones who really get anything out of the anger is the political party not in power. They can blame the problems on the party in power and maybe they can channel the anger to win the election. Political anger is one healthy way of expressing rage.
One more part of the pain has to be discussed in this imperfect piece—the effect on families. Both nuclear and extended families are non-exempt from the effects.
Will extended family have to double up in single households when one nuclear unit gets evicted? Will older parents have to take in children and grandchildren—creating tense living situations? (The one big happy family may happen, but all things being equal—it suggests that togetherness is likely going to be short-lived before conflict and family drama occurs.)
Money is another family issue. Will there be the pain of being hit up for loans that you would rather make because you need that money for your retirement? Will there be the sacrifice of your own well-being for a family member’s stupidity because you get a royal guilt trip from a third family member who does it themselves and expects everyone else to be like them?
This is only a picture of the pain. There are so many nuances I do not think I can even begin to touch on all of them.
Do I have all the answers? No Each of us will have to make our decisions as to how we are going to cope with the problems and survive the situations that come our way.
There are a variety of choices that can be made to cope and take the edge off the pain. I will explore some of those choices in coming entries.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Black and White Thinking
It is 2008 and it would seem that the world is in quite a bit of chaos.
I am all about staying sane in the 21st century.
Many people say that the world is in a mess and something has got to be done about it.
I say the world has always been in a mess and don't give your self a hemorrhoid about it.
What the previous generations have done has not appeared to fix it and I do not think that this generation is going to fix it, and I do not think that the next generation is going to make things right either. There will always be something really wrong with the world as long it exists.
Does that sound realistic or pessimistic? You are your own person. You decide.
Actually, I think that I find it quite liberating. Here is why.
There have been countless wars and acts of brutality throughout human history. Civilizations have come and gone. There have been famines and plagues and tyranny before during and after the great civilizations.
I think that people have always been anxious about something. When the world was agrarian in nature, people worried about rains their crops coming up and being raided by foreign invaders.
The same kinds of sins and crimes have always been happening. Murder, rape, robbery, assaults, etc., have always been going on.
What do you think really makes this time any different from any other era in human history?
My answer is black and white thinking. The thinking that makes you forget about the past and deny that there will be a future.
In reality, the people who are screaming or being histrionic about the world being in a mess and in big trouble have this rigid and narrow, telescopic focus on the here and now. It is also called black and white thinking.
Black and white thinking is evidenced by perfectionists, depressed individuals, borderline and narcissistic personalities, fundamentalists, extremist liberals (a fundamentalist liberal) and little kids. Black and white thinking also happens in anyone who has either had something catastrophic happen to them and all they can think about is the worst case scenario.
Black and white thinking can really be good or bad. Black and white thinking only allows things to be wrong or right. It only allows for extremes and makes no room for shades of gray.
Black and white thinking usually is connected with extremes in emotion. For example, when political gatherings of very liberal people and very conservative people happen, you get this really convoluted mix of self-righteous anger that almost comes across as a pentacostal worship service. People at those gatherings are intensely emotive in ways that they would not otherwise be in social situations. It is safe for them to vent their emotion in that setting whether their feelings of emotion are pertinent or inpertinent.
For many emotion still wigs people out and makes unaccustomed people feel scared. Many people do not know what to do with the emotion and they get most uncomfortable.
I will say that the liberal gatherings seem much more intense than the "fundamentalist" gatherings. The reason why: liberals for the most part are idealists. Idealism is black and white.
I am branding myself early, but liberalism in the political and religious sense is still quite a source of irony to me. They are all about accepting others, except when those others do not agree with them. People may call me a conservative already.
However, many fundamentalists call me a liberal because I do not agree with them. The fundamentalist already has a narrow point of view, so you pretty much expect them to say "You are for me or against me." You just do not expect that of the extreme liberal--but really you get it.
I have decided that in election years the black and white thinking gets thrown around a lot. Both sides make the other side look like immoral, intolerable inbreds. The black and white thinking has people living in the worst case scenario all the time. The bottom line, the politician we elect to lead the nation will be a human and just a human with strengths and faults.
However, the idea behind much of political rhetoric (speeches and punditry) is that the voting public thinks in black and white terms and is easily moved by emotion. It really does not matter that things are not going to change dramatically whether the other side is in power--if I have you believing it, then you will vote with your emotions.
2008 is a lot like 1979. We have an issue with fuel and inflation. In terms of the world scene iIt feels like the United States is an impotent country in need of national erectile dysfunction medication. Yeah, we are learning all over again how much we are a petroleum-based economy where the price of oil is raising the price of pretty much everything else. Yeah, people are learning that it was not a good idea to get that house out in that new housing development with that adjustable rate mortgage. People are learning some hard lessons again.
The message to myself and others is: do not be black and white about this. The worst possible stuff will not happen.
I am all about staying sane in the 21st century.
Many people say that the world is in a mess and something has got to be done about it.
I say the world has always been in a mess and don't give your self a hemorrhoid about it.
What the previous generations have done has not appeared to fix it and I do not think that this generation is going to fix it, and I do not think that the next generation is going to make things right either. There will always be something really wrong with the world as long it exists.
Does that sound realistic or pessimistic? You are your own person. You decide.
Actually, I think that I find it quite liberating. Here is why.
There have been countless wars and acts of brutality throughout human history. Civilizations have come and gone. There have been famines and plagues and tyranny before during and after the great civilizations.
I think that people have always been anxious about something. When the world was agrarian in nature, people worried about rains their crops coming up and being raided by foreign invaders.
The same kinds of sins and crimes have always been happening. Murder, rape, robbery, assaults, etc., have always been going on.
What do you think really makes this time any different from any other era in human history?
My answer is black and white thinking. The thinking that makes you forget about the past and deny that there will be a future.
In reality, the people who are screaming or being histrionic about the world being in a mess and in big trouble have this rigid and narrow, telescopic focus on the here and now. It is also called black and white thinking.
Black and white thinking is evidenced by perfectionists, depressed individuals, borderline and narcissistic personalities, fundamentalists, extremist liberals (a fundamentalist liberal) and little kids. Black and white thinking also happens in anyone who has either had something catastrophic happen to them and all they can think about is the worst case scenario.
Black and white thinking can really be good or bad. Black and white thinking only allows things to be wrong or right. It only allows for extremes and makes no room for shades of gray.
Black and white thinking usually is connected with extremes in emotion. For example, when political gatherings of very liberal people and very conservative people happen, you get this really convoluted mix of self-righteous anger that almost comes across as a pentacostal worship service. People at those gatherings are intensely emotive in ways that they would not otherwise be in social situations. It is safe for them to vent their emotion in that setting whether their feelings of emotion are pertinent or inpertinent.
For many emotion still wigs people out and makes unaccustomed people feel scared. Many people do not know what to do with the emotion and they get most uncomfortable.
I will say that the liberal gatherings seem much more intense than the "fundamentalist" gatherings. The reason why: liberals for the most part are idealists. Idealism is black and white.
I am branding myself early, but liberalism in the political and religious sense is still quite a source of irony to me. They are all about accepting others, except when those others do not agree with them. People may call me a conservative already.
However, many fundamentalists call me a liberal because I do not agree with them. The fundamentalist already has a narrow point of view, so you pretty much expect them to say "You are for me or against me." You just do not expect that of the extreme liberal--but really you get it.
I have decided that in election years the black and white thinking gets thrown around a lot. Both sides make the other side look like immoral, intolerable inbreds. The black and white thinking has people living in the worst case scenario all the time. The bottom line, the politician we elect to lead the nation will be a human and just a human with strengths and faults.
However, the idea behind much of political rhetoric (speeches and punditry) is that the voting public thinks in black and white terms and is easily moved by emotion. It really does not matter that things are not going to change dramatically whether the other side is in power--if I have you believing it, then you will vote with your emotions.
2008 is a lot like 1979. We have an issue with fuel and inflation. In terms of the world scene iIt feels like the United States is an impotent country in need of national erectile dysfunction medication. Yeah, we are learning all over again how much we are a petroleum-based economy where the price of oil is raising the price of pretty much everything else. Yeah, people are learning that it was not a good idea to get that house out in that new housing development with that adjustable rate mortgage. People are learning some hard lessons again.
The message to myself and others is: do not be black and white about this. The worst possible stuff will not happen.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)