Balance in the Midst of Drama.

It has been a few weeks since I last wrote about coping. I have had to do a bunch of it on my own. It has been drama at my office.
Being drug behind a 4x4 on a baja or off-road course
I have equated the experience of dealing with borderline personalities to be like being drug by an off-road 4x4 through an off-road or baja course.
I would like to be able to tell all of it, but the metaphor of the of baja course will have to suffice as there are too many bumps and curves to tell you the whole story. I will give just the highlights.
There was one moment where I almost got demoted. My boss was worried that I was spreading negativity about her because I was mad about her. She projected her behavior upon me—she is the one who spreads negativity. She called an immediate meeting with Human Resources and began interrogating me in from of the HR coordinator for the hospital. I talked better than my borderline personality boss and was able to distinguish myself from my boss. My boss was being immature, I was being mature and I held onto my position.
One of my departments has had two position cuts. One is an outright cut, and another position has been made contingent on patient population. It is difficult to tell whether my assistant vice president is making decisions to look good or whether she is taking orders to cut by a higher-level bean counter.
My narcissistic subordinate is being transferred to one of my old department. Someone quite and is moving on to a better job. He is moving because he believes he is saving his own job given the two cuts. He is only thinking about himself. On the one hand I think he is getting out of my hair, but he is also creating more work for me.
My hospital is going on probation again with the state. A psychiatric technician slapped a kid. As far as my information is accurate—people were fired. However, it was not enough to pacify the state. You heard it here fourth or fifth. It will probably get out into the local media in about one month.
My hospital has been cutting back since November. I figure someone high up is going to take the fall somewhere some how like they did back in September of last year. The hospital corporation wanted to cut back, and they cut back at the expense of the wrong things. Will they do right? We will see.
So what have I been doing to cope with it all?
1. Comfort eating and experimenting in the kitchen.
2. Talking to my friends
3. Praying a lot.
4. Being the adult.
5. Reading books.
6. Bike-riding
7. The Wii
8. Keeping my eyes open for other opportunities—avocational and career change
As you can tell I have been doing a multiple of things.
I have been reading the Four Agreements, Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, and Emotional Intelligence. I have been learning to be more adult and more real. The Four Agreements has some good stuff, but it is rather new age.
I have been experimenting with a pineapple pound cake recipe. It is just about there. I now have to perfect the glaze. I have gained some weight.
My faith has been very important here. I have prayed for God’s open door to happen but for him to take care of us while we wait and hang on. I believe that God was with me when was dealing with the immature rants and raves of my boss about one month ago. I do not care who you are, you need God. I admit that intelligence alone does not save you. Faith is what you lean on when the problem is outside of your ability to solve because you do not have the power or you are waiting for a day in the future.
Bike riding has been good to let off some steam. I have enjoyed the boxing on my Wii. Physical exercise has its place.
Talking to my friends has been good. My main support group has been the guys at church. The have been great. I reconnected with a school mate from my Ph.D. studies and we shared our travails. Sometimes getting things off your chest is good too.
The job search has been dormant. I got invited to apply for a job in Georgia that will likely pay $9000 less than I make. They really could not tell me what the salary was, but only estimate. I have been advised to apply for it to test out the waters to see what it is all about. It could been the open door I have been looking for.
Find your mix
The economy has been tight. My budget is getting even tighter. Many people I know are experiencing leaner, tighter times. Salaries are being cut or increases are being withheld. The mix of things we do to pass the time under stress is up to each one of us. I look back on the past month of drama and I can say that while it was not perfect, I made it. I did what I had to do and I kept things going.
For those who are unemployed, there is the concern about having what you will need, and perhaps some will need to take jobs that were formerly below them to pay the bills. Besides the worry of finances, getting through this time of recession and stress is a matter of successfully passing the time.
Passing the time
Passing time is something that people do not like in general. Passing time is what people do when they are waiting. We are supposed to be on the edge of the wave and moving ahead with our life. But I have decided that in life there will be times of waiting where you are not moving ahead. They will not make sense and they will not be pleasant. If you are reading this, you are likely waiting for something bad to pass.
Passing time is inevitable for everyone. Passing time successfully and meaningfully is the challenge. Whether you are waiting one minute, one month, one year or several years, it is possible to wait with yourself and your values intact. I think that you will need to choose your mix of activities that will help you pass time in the midst of difficult circumstances.
When finances are tight, what you do to pass your time may need to be creative. Maybe you may need to think of a business you can start. Maybe you can start to read those books you have always wanted to read. Maybe you go check out that video on Calculus at your library and finally understand the Integral and Derivative. How you pass your time is going to be up to you, I suppose a good standard for passing your time is doing things that do not make you feel guilty or which you can look back and be satisfied that you did what you could and that was that.