Things at work have been difficult to say the least. There are multiple aspects and layers and I could discuss it all in detail, but I just had a conversation with a schoolmate today that helped me get perspective.
My schoolmate was truly clinically depressed. His thoughts were depressing.
My former schoolmate was divorced and his ex-wife in his words is a master manipulator. He discussed feeling suicidal due to all of her maneuvering and games. He felt hopeless. He talked about hating that he had few alternatives.
He had a new job that fell through. Some of the problem was that his ex-wife created some legal stir that took him out of work for one week that was part of his getting terminated shortly after taking the job.
His house is getting foreclosed on. He cannot get enough money together to get payments caught up.
He talked about being sabotaged in parenting his three kids.
He talked about his considering a federal job in another country. He had applied for two different jobs. The problem is that he would be abandoning his children, but he needs to preserve himself.
I empathized with him.
My thought to him was that he was essentially engaging in harm reduction. There was going to be pain either way with or without him given his wife's behaviors. He was just choosing over how his kids were going to be mad.
I told him that I would support him in any way I could. I discussed my concern for his safety, but I tired hard to be the friend and not the therapist.
There were limits as to what I could do to help him. He had some pretty crappy choices to make and it was a matter of deciding between which smelled less offensive.
My message to myself is that yes, it could always get worse. You may indeed have the greener grass in the situation. It may just not be as green as you think it should be. Sometimes you are reminded of the fact.
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